Saturday, January 24, 2009

The Countdown

I spent a lot of 2008 counting down. In fact, come to think of it I've spent a lot of my life counting down. When I was younger it was counting down to the end of soccer practice, or to summer camp, or to dinner time. Then it became counting down to my next birthday, to high school, to boyfriends. Not long after that it was to the end of high school, to a year off, to graduation, to freedom. But throughout my entire life as I can remember it, I've spent a decent amount of time counting down. I don't think this is unusual in our culture by any means (after all who of us doesn't count down to the weekend or to the summer?), and I think it's an issue. Which is why I've decided to stop counting down. Or, at least I'm going to try, and I've made it my main New Years resolution. Maybe I've finally learned that all of this is actually temporary and that wishing it would past faster is just not how I want to go through the rest of my life, especially right now. There is too much opportunity in Now to wish it were Then. Does this make sense? I don't know. It does to me, and I hope I can start being more present and knowing that it will all pass faster than I can fathom, so I should enjoy right now. 
On another note, I think my intellectual metabolism has sped up. What? You've never heard of intellectual metabolism? Weird, maybe that's because I just invented it. I like it. Basically I think of it as the rate that my brain is consuming information, and the feeling that no matter how much educational fodder I feed into its chomping mouth, it never seems to be satisfied. My brain is hungry. It's really a cool feeling - like my brain is expanding, like it's seen how vast the world of knowledge is and it won't be satisfied until it devours it all. Sometimes I think my brain is a little over enthusiastic. Maybe bites off more than it can chew? Oh I suppose that's why I take fish oil. So my brain can eat more. Oh my god if people actually let me be a doctor it will be either a miracle or an accident. Maybe they're the same thing.  
So I know my blogging history isn't exactly reliable, but as another New Years goal I'm going to try and blog once a week, whether it's for me or for others, which at this point I think I'm doing it because I enjoy it and want to be writing more, not because anyone's necessarily reading it. Damn those RSS updates. Maybe I'll start editing my entries....or maybe I'll save that for 2010. 
Also: inauguration. Too many words, not enough adjectives to describe my sorry state on Tuesday morning where I found myself splayed on the couch in front of the TV in my floor lounge in my slightly discolored grey old-man sweatpants, shoveling oatmeal into my mouth between occasional tears and clamorous exclamations at a certain GIANT and awesome grey sparkling hat that made quite an appearance on the national stage. Oh Bama. Oh jeez. That guy brings tears to my face. I have a real good feeling about him. 
Anyway, off to do honors chemistry (on a SATURDAY! What's wrong with me?). Eat for your brain!